Dikku teriyada Attic !

Dear all,

I realize this blog is also quite not as immediate to my previous on as I would have desired. But a lot of travelling had me on my toes, literally. But here I am, to continue the journey.

Im sure you all remember my eulogy to a great mentor in Dr. T.N.Ramachandran sir of Tanjavur. He is a saiva siddhanti and a great scholar, thespian of academia. Now,  I need to talk about how my journey continued from his home (home in this context is his protection  and shelter to my ameteur  and rigid views:-). In Shakespearean terms I was  "Sighing like furnace...sudden and quick in quarrel..." I was very much a young researcher with a lot of ideas of right and wrong, of who's views are credible and who's aren't and who's writings should shape my own understanding of history, art etc. He would patiently hear several of my emotional ramblings. Most of his responses to my childish queries were/are by themselves worthy of publishing. Here is one such from a random interaction with Sir on a sunday afternoon. Him seated and swinging on his oonjal and me seated on a plastic chair opposite him at the mutram of his tanjavur home.

Swarnamalya (childish and argumentative): Sir, Aasai mugam marandu pooche of Bharatiyar is about a young girl having forgotten her beloved Krishna's face. But if she loves him so much why would she even forget him in the first place?

TNR Sir: Do u understand the entire meaning of the lines "
Aasai mugam marandu pooche idai yaar idam solven adi toozi, neesam marakkavillai nenjam enil ninaivumugam  marakkalaamo?"

Swarnamalya: O! sure 
O! friend I have forgotten his beloved face, how can I explain this? my heart hasn;t forgotten the love yet the face has been consigned to oblivion by my mind, is it fair?

TNR Sir: The mind is our most reliable ally and our trusted source. It's very function is to bring memories update whenever required. Because it is the process of budhi, chit, manas and ahankaaram that creates every thought and therefore every memory.

Budhi is the intellect of man. It is the first place which processes a thought. All thoughts. This is the "arivu". It then passes it to the next keeper.

Chit: this is understood as the rationale of a person. We rationalize the received thought which is why it is called "chintanai" where we ponder upon it and take it to the next level.

Manas: this is the heart, Up until now what the head was doing, now the heart takes over. This is where we develop emotions, attachments, detachments, likes and dislikes etc. It allows the thought to become personal, subjective and closer. That is perhaps why love and other emotions are always an appeal to the manas or heart. 

Ahankaaram: This is the ego or the self. The processed and curated thought is now well stored and also acted upon. If I love someone I confess love, if I am angry I show that emotion, if I miss someone I evoke memories about that person willingly to soak in that moment. It is independent, very individualistic and uses the other faculties in aid to represent itself. 

"Dear friend", in this case could be even a soliloquy by the girl to her mind, which is supposed to be her friend and ally. I have been failed by you. I have no capacity of anamnesis. For the lovely face of my Krishna, I am unable to recapture. Who can help me from this state of amnesia? To whom can I complain about this internal malfunction of my system? The system that  never is supposed to fail a person?

I do remember (thankfully / unabashedly) the love he showered upon me. I am unable to still conjure up the face, the lines or the smile". 

There are three aspects to all consequences in man's life. There is the present that happens to him over which he has no control at all. There is a bundle of piled up consequences he has to face as an accumulation of his past deeds and then, there is what he can do based on his present experiences. These are the Prarabdha, sanchita and aagaamya karma-s. When her mind, heart stops listening to her, when she is unable to control them to retain a memory that she so wants to, she blames her mind of treachery, as if it's not her own. This is due to the fact that no matter want we will, our prarabdha is a consequence we have to endure. What a pool of greater memories of his touch and love that the heart  (her heart or nenjam) chose to remember is perhaps her predestined sanchita. A girl who's consequence was that she meet Krishna and become the object of his love and desire for a while, is her bundle of experience of her life. "What can I do?" Her lament of how to handle this predicament is her aagaamya karma. Do I rely upon my faithful, unfailing heart which savours his embrace and loving words or do I still allow my mind which duely failed me? How can I trust now? Whom can I trust now? What can I trust now? What use are my external eyes that can never work without the help of my mind? what use is this life if  my own preceptions were to fail me this way? (kankal irundu payan undo?)

When I heard this...U can imagine how silent, introspective and "shut up" I would have become. So introspective that, from then on, this argumentative researcher became a searcher. He made this haughty head pause to begin to look within.

I have always believed that the characters that we reflect through our arts viz-a-viz these Nayikas (in viraha or seperation, anger- Khandita etc) is not just a representation or encounter of their emotions but an interaction too. I once wrote a research article on Sigment Freud's Psychoanalysis and Bharata's Rasa theory. I found so many parallels and a constant interaction between the seeing and being seen. 

In this case, the girl is lamenting the failure of one of her own trusted faculties. She is desperately trying to use her heart to see if she can glimpse through the visages of what she remembers as feelings but forgets as memory. She is unable to hyperventilate upon any of her memories that bind the libido to the object. Her ego (ahankaaram) hopes to conjure up the image of him which is a lost memory to the mind but a yearning to her body and heart. 

This poem of Bharatiyar according to me is an oblique reference to the death of one's own power over their mind. She laments this failure. But she also knows fully well that this powerlessness is due to the agony of  seperation from Krishna. 

 The only way she can recognize him now is by touching his lips with hers perhaps? It is only the encounters that can come to her rescue. She has to distinguish her and the other within herself to identify Him.

Bharati's words TNR sir thus continued are,

"aasai mugam marandu poche idai yaar idam solven adi toozi

neesam marakka villai nenjam enil ninaivu, mugam marakkalaamo?"

not ninaivumugam (face from memory) but ninaivu mugam. Ye ninaive (O! mind) how can u fail me?

As a dancer, some where between the dance and imagination I  interact with her. I am her. This her is several characters, several women whom I understand, empathize with, absorb, imitate, interact, imagine and thus become. In this process my "self" is emancipated. 

The explanation for these two lines and how it has allowed me to find my thinking roots and wings is testimony to Sir's teachings. As I said, I was to be a mere spectator of my own self who' s perspectives to art, thought and literature changed after every interaction with Sir.

This is how he slowly nudged me towards my own space, even as I staggered cluelessly.

SWARNAMALYA GANESH

Dikku teriyaada attic !

P.S: I wish to share here a small video of my performance of a nayika in separation. But she is different from Bharati's woman, she is haunting herself with memories of him and loves the self imposed torture. 

this video's 7.20 th min is when the pallavai of the padam begins

P.P.S: didnt have the time to edit it to the exact start. 

In all,being a Women: difficult, tedious and absolutely joyous!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0eMEmQLN6A&feature=player_embedded#!

It was laundry day at the Attic !

Hi everyone, I know I have been silent for too long. I was first silenced by the loss of my dear Guru. I then took upon myself to throw that melancholia into finishing much of my research work that was pending. That done, now I am finally back to filling these pages. I have to say. So much to share. I was wondering where to begin. I was pondering if I should continue from where I left off or have a new take off point for the narrative. Then my talk at the ABHAI- Association for BHaratanatyam Artistes of India happened. It was part of a seminar on "socio-economic issues of bharatanatyam dancers-then and now". I was invited to speak for "now". Just as I was preparing to address some of the issues that they had specified to me, I realized there are so many cob-webs around us. I wish to share the paper I read out there with all of you. This is a growing concern for not the dancers alone but to the entire society, I believe. I have also made some suggestions as possible steps solutions. Read on...

"1. Bharatanatyam is a very inclusive art. In a trans- national environment that it is being nurtured now, it would be almost prudish to strongly advocate classicism, allegiance, orthodoxy, or even parameters of performance for, these very terms are themselves still in a rediscovery and redefining stage.

 2. Is Bharatanatyam over inclusive? We must know one thing, a classical practice cannot be over inclusive and still remain classical.

 3. Dancers of the 20th and 21st centuries are constantly facing issues of understanding and accepting the immediate histories and identity. Therefore performing allegiance to them is always questioned. If that allegiance will ensure quality, rigor and a certain accountability to classicism then it is for the dance practitioners to engage in such a deliberation. At an alpine level it would require a clinical approach to ring in and weed out elements of a classical form using academic history but more importantly performative historicity of the 18th, 19th centuries which are essentially our immediate past. But that is a topic for serious academic discussion and I shall keep it for later.

 4. With audiences and their tastes changing, funding structures for performances changing, even their very objectives, supply being enormously higher than demand, dancers have to come to terms with the fact that BN has become a global art. We are no longer dancing to aficionados and discerning rasikas (no, not even in the sabhas). We need newer reflective, critical updating of performative rules and values, as I said earlier, in the understanding of dance techniques and also the discourse that surrounds it all.

 5. There was a time a little over half a century ago when BN might have been endangered due to the cross roads it was at, precariously positioned between the disengaged devadasis and the pre occupied non-hereditary dancers. We have certainly come a long way from there. Today the problem is not whether it will continue as an art of prominence and identity but in what direction? Until a few decades back, questions of respectability were being asked. Will a dancer continue dancing after marriage etc? But today that is not the problem at all. Everyone is dancing, all the time. We are at a time when newer problems have arisen.

 6. What is the direction of this continuum? Where is sustainence? Will merit ensure you reach far and deep into the various performance arenas of national and global repute? What is the purpose of this maddening competition?

 7. There is Darwinism at play here. Nothing wrong. That is a universal rule. BN in the past too has always operated on the survival of the fittest. Therefore, we need to quickly address the question of “fittest”. In a world where e-invites, facebooking, twittering and public relations stands paramount it is passé to stick to old world norms of “waiting in the wings for your turn”. Truth is there are no wings and certainly not a turn. BN today is a commodity. Are we to buy what is sold with amazing publicity employing tremendous marketing skills or are we to look for quality. I am not suggesting that quality is available only in thrift shops and so give up upscale mall shopping. That’s not pragmatic. Its alright let us embrace the popular, but the climb there must be fair and based on certain universal principles.

 8. It is futile to ask for cleaner scrupulous standards in offering platforms from organizers, you will be in solitude if you remain in your “shell”, not socialize, “know” the “people”, you will be damned if you do not send out a million request letters, applications, photos, phone calls, house visits and the jazz. So what do we do?

 9. I know of dancers who don’t want to do these things and then some who cannot do these things at all for genuine economic reasons. Then what?

 10. I have been asked to address some issues concerning one, my being an actor. I think India and Indians came of age a long time ago. The concept of stigma of multiple careers or roles has long vanished. There is a healthy example in Dr.Vyjayantimala Bali to show that entertainment business and classical dance will go hand in hand and stay parallel. I am a dancer from the age of five while I became an actor almost a decade later. With my comprehension of the perfomative history that is handed down to me and with my own research I work on principles that stay within the abuttal of classical BN. But that is for dancers, funding and platform agencies to see and recognize. If anyone is to have pre-conceptions about multiple career choices of dancers, especially when that choice is entertainment and media related then they are not only short sighted but also in denial. Personally, I believe that using that as a reason to debate on a dancer’s adherence to classicism (if at all that’s the concern) would be begrudging of that dancer’s vantage to media attention and other public absorptions rather than issues of adherence and classicism. Let us not forget that devadasis at the turn of the 20th century started appearing in cinema and also in stage plays like harischadra natakam, pavazakodi etc. Therefore cinema is not a bad word, actress is not a dirty word and popularity is not a cuss word!

 11. The second issue is me being a researcher. The problems of a research student, scholar trying to reconstruct older dance forms etc and the difficulties in that realm, are for another discussion. But in general BN for the longest time now has largely separated scholarship and practice. I have seen a lot of eye brows being raised when I used to say I am a researcher. I have seen scholars and dancers schuff at me when I went ahead to do my masters in Bharatanatyam seven years ago. The other issue I have noticed is that age is a huge factor. The pre-conception that younger people really can’t be scholars is also seen. Dancer/ scholars are far and few. It is too primitive to discuss the issues they face yet. But scholarship for dancers will encourage a comprehension of historicity and enable a firm identity. To that extent it is a social issue. Also isolated scholarship in dance without practice sometimes throws the art and science of BN vulnerable to angled, partisan-ed and even jaundiced views and constructions. Therefore, it will be great to have a generation of scholar/dancers who can put in perspective the art in entirety. This is of course not to take away anything from exemplary scholars who contribute to dance history.

 12. Any occupation receives the “professional” status in a society when its presence contributes constructively to the society’s growth and its absence levels a vacuum. The dancing community until the nationalist, colonial iron hand vanquished it from temples, had a very important significant role in the religious sphere of the society’s everyday life. When that very practice came under the scanner the dancing ritual was the first to be hit. We are soon moving towards a time when the diaspora and the dancing fraternity is assimilating not only non-hindu but also non-religious dancers. If questions of ownership of Bharatanatyam as a hindu art are raised in a few decades (God forbid) are we well prepared to face it? Can we rediscover a context for today’s dance and through that to dancers in order to enable a more significant place and relevance to the society it breeds in? I mean not ideal relevance like cultural and aesthetic upliftment which have themselves become matters of personal choice and global assimilation. I mean purpose and relevance like that of say doctors and lawyers perhaps? This was my response to a question that was raised by my good friend and dancer Jayachandran.

13. I wouldn’t dare give one solution to all the above problems. But here is a start, nevertheless. BN dancers are all over the world. The diaspora has an equal stake in BN as we do. Let us not remain in denial. If we consider Chennai as the “hub” of BN practice and performance, then it must create a guild. A guild that recognizes (using fair parameters of economic and resume professional artistes) giving them IDs to entail them fare and portioned opportunities on performance platforms, assess to funding agencies, medical insurance etc. Kautilya in the Arthasastra suggested that unmarried women dancers must be given governmental jobs as spinsters (to spin the yarn). Such was the socio-economic vision of our ancestors. Must not we follow suit? It is appalling to note that dancers have no retirement, let alone retirement benefits.

 14. This guild must take on issues of foul play and come as a mediation body in case of dispute. It must have a grievance redressal cell to help young dancers deal with issues of sexual harassment, exploitation by so-called patrons, organizers, scholars and others. It is all happening. We can pretend “holier than thou” but it is an open secret. It could take up issies of maximum and minimum wages for dancers and ensemble members. It must also enroll and encourage amateur dancers. Those who want to and absolutely must, can continue their marketing and purchasing of opportunities but should never be identified as a professional artiste. The audiences will be made to know the difference. In order to get a professional status they must fall within some stipulated parameters for both performative standards, experience, income and integrity. A time when fair application, audition and selection process must encourage dancers to become marketing savvy, promotion through innovative social networking can be encouraged and the “lobbying” with silk sarees, undue flattery, other “favors” and money cannot buy you platforms and awards.

 15. The guild must later bring under its fold artistic groups like the Bhagavatamela artistes, kaisiki natanam artistes”, folk artistes, contemporary and experimental artistes etc for these are our brothers and sisters and we need to fend for them as well. We are after all what we protect!

16. In short, we are a large number of dancers, scattered all over. We are not a community yet. Can we become one? The immediate history of this art was the disengagement of the artiste community and its rites of passage, assimilation and strict rules of adherence. Now, it seems that that community- ship is the need of the hour again. This is truly the hour of retrospect.

 17. In all…IT WAS LAUNDRY DAY FOR DANCERS, WE WASHED LINEN ALRIGHT, DIRTY OR OTHERWISE…THE IMPORTANT THING IS ARE WE GON
NA COME CLEAN?

 SWARNAMALYA GANESH
AT THE LAUNDROMAT- WITH QUARTERS ET.ALL

here is a  poster done by a person named Shashank on facebook. its perfect for this article, I thought. 

The first light that led me to the Attic

Sri Gurubhyo namaha
I vividly remember the day a rickshaw pulled in front of Raniannadurai street.
My mother and I were walking into the big house. Being a student of Kutralam Ganasan Pillai herself, my mother had very specific choices of whom I should train under and in what sampradayam. I was barely 3 years old.
Sarasa ma was warm and welcoming to my mother as they knew each other from before and was only too glad to take me in. Unlike a few other Gurus in the city who had adviced my mother to wait until I am 7 years old, sarasa ma readily agreed to take me in. She said, if a child has the potential, let us catch her young.
My house was a few streets away and I used to be dropped at class every day. All I remember of the first few years was sitting on her lap watching all the senior girls dance.
She would take classes for hours, tirelessly. She would sing so melidiously and expect the students sitting around, to sing as well.
My salangai poojai was a grand affair. She had trained a mere 8 year old for a two hour debut. Gowri akka (the singer) , Ramdas anna (the mridangist, the great Tanjavur Ramdass) would be at all rehersals from day one. I remember even having regular classes to their music. Such was the musical atmosphere that I got training in.
There was never a timing or a strict fee structure. Sarasalaya was a home. I would reach there after school and spend all evening learning, teaching, singing and dancing. No one would be asked to leave after their class. Knowledge was free flowing. It was upto the dancer to grab as much as she wanted or could.
My arangetram was a huge story. Sarasa ma told me she reposited great dreams and faith in me and hence was inviting the who’s who of the dance world for my arangetram. I was so nervous and didn’t want to disappoint her. She specially composed the Bharathiyar song “ninaye rathi endru ninaikuren adi” along with the Basant Bahar tillana for me. I was thrilled and even today at sarasalaya, basant bahar tillana is known as the piece done for me, by teacher!
Every program was a learning curve with her. She never taught us abhinaya by giving us specific hands or gestures. In her teaching, there was so much freedom that even in class we were encouraged to improvise, interpret. If ten girls are dancing at the same time, teacher expected ten different versions of the same piece. On stage if we improvise, she would admire the effort and move along with us.
As a dance guru and researcher, today when I look back I am amazed at how she effortlessly she blended the gurukula system of imparting knowledge with modernity.
She never sat us down to teach the values and ethics behind sampradaya. Infact, sarasa ma in many ways stands as the melting pot of Old world gurus blending into the cosmopolitan, english-speaking dance teachers of madras. However, the learning atmosphere she provided instilled a great sense of understanding in me for music, dance and their rich traditions.
Over the years she has always been proud of the fact that I sing too. She would always make me sing for others in class as they reherse. I have spent several days over the many years I have learnt with her in class, not only dancing and singing, but also eating, picking out her silk saree for the evening’s concert, ironing them, helping her pick her jewellery for her evening’s concert etc. All through such times she would talk nine to nineteen. From Ramayya vadyar’s classes, music of Bala ma, music nuances in tanjore quartette, to madras dance politics and madhuri dixit’s dance. She had a gift of the gab. Her humor was subtle and very well known.
Being a non-performing Guru, I have never seen Sarasa ma dance much. Even in class she would rarely get up to demonstrate. But the few occasions she has, those are etched in my memory.
On an april afternoon several years ago, she, suddenly, very instinctively got up to demostrate a line from a padam. As the afternoon sun streamed into the hall, her diamond nose-stud (the only ornament she wore on her person that day) shining away, she sang and did abhinaya for the lines “Rama rama prana sakhi…” I think that day changed my life. As a young teenager I had decided that day, that I wanted to become a dancer just like her. And I wanted to wear a nose-ring, just like her too !
Over the many years, she has inspired me to become what I have. All my research and dancing and teaching I owe to her. In 2005, when I did a production based on Silappadikaram, I requested her to do a guest appreance as Madhavi’s dance Guru for me. She was so thrilled. She decked herself up. Puff-sleeved blouse and saree, maatal, odiyaanam, vanki, bullakku et all; and came to the studios. When I played the music she asked me to teach her what I needed her to do. I was stocked and stunned. But she insisted that I direct her and pushed me to do so. That to me is the greatest of day’s of my life.
Vijayadasami at sarasalaya is like new year for me. I begin my dancing year on that day by seeking her blessings and dancing to her music and singing, sitting at her feet. It recharges my artistic batteries to run for the whole year, with her blessings and guidance. This year too was very memorable. Unlike other years when we wouldn’t have much time to perform several pieces, she asked to dance a alarippu, jatiswaram, vrttam and a pada varnam. It was as if she she knew that this was going to be the last Dasami she is going to take class for me.
All my students have the greatest fortune of taking her blessings too. I took them all one day to her. We danced at sarasalaya koodam. She individually blessed all of them. Ranga mandira, both natya and sangeeta shala students respect and look up to sarasa ma and we lovingly follow the sampradaya she has imparted to me.
She is a very strong woman. Being the head of a large matrilineal family. Determined and strong willed. I have never seen her break-down. At the same time, she is also child-like. Loves food, loves to try out new kinds of food. She loves cinema and Madhuri Dixit’s dance. She also used to do great impressions of others and would make us all laugh in class. She is kind hearted and a lover of great music. I know sarasa ma loves sankarabharanam. I made it a point to sing atleast one sankarabharana kriti, padam, pada varnam or atleast a vrttam to her everytime I meet over the last year.
Needless to say I have so much more but cant put down over 2 decades of very eventful years here at once. I feel it is a divine ordain that I had the opportunity to learn from such a great Guru.
She is a pioneer and a leader, not only to women nattuvanar lineage but to the gender at large. I would like to believe that I have imbibed in me not only dance, music and teaching from her but also her strong personality and ability to face challenges and emerge a winner.
On January 2nd 2012, my Guru, my guiding light, my mentor, Sarasa ma attained the lotus feet of the Lord. I was there all day with her, hoping she may wake up and call me “Swarna…inga vaa paa”. She didn’t. It seems she has fulfilled all that she was born to do. She has been a good daughter, a great sister who took take of the entire family. She was a student par excellence, a shadow like follower of Vazuvoor Ramiah Pillai, a very devoted mother to her sister’s daughters. But above all, she was the greatest teacher. She imparted dance, music and values to her disciples as if it were the very air we breathe.
I will always miss you my dear sarasa ma, sarasa teacher. I also know that you will always look down upon me with affection and the protective motherly care and bless me, like you always have.
As I bid her good bye yesterday at 5pm I came back home and I danced for her, while her soul was leaving her mortal coil. For a Guru who had lived all her life for music and dance what else can I do? At that time, as I was overwhelmed, words just poured in my mind and I composed a song on her and sang it.
My tribute to her: describing her dark-hued (syamale) but very charming loving eyes (sarasija lochani), the one who always has a smile (hasite) and who resides in my heart (hrdaya nivasini)
You are a giver of happiness to all, all the time (sadaananda kaarini), you are the embodiment of sangeeta, music and dance (sangeeta kalaa samkshobini), you adopted all your disciples as your own child (sakala siksaa sveeharini) you have the untraceable divine lineage (niradhaara vamsini), you are pure and righteous (nirmala satya hamsini)
You are the consort of Sri Paramesvara (Parameswara nari) you are the torch bearer of the divine art of dance (pavitra nartaka kalaa vihari) you are a divine in mortal form who resides in the lotus of my heart (paramapurusha padmasri) you are hailed by the whole world, my mother ! (dharani prasidha maa janani)
Incidentally, Sarasa amma was very desirously of getting a Padmasri award. She aspired for it for years. Ofcourse she deserved much more. But this was the least and she aspired no more. But this country missed the opportunity to bestow upon her that honour till the very end. Her students are her wealth, her awards. I, hereby through this kriti bestow upon the greatest GURU in the world of arts, my mother, my mentor the Padmasri. She is a padmasri, for she resides in the inner most lotus of my heart, forever.

Swarnamalya Ganesh
Having lost the first light that led me to the attic!
P.S: Click anywhere on the red writing to listen to the kriti that I have composed on my Guru.